robert the bruce
i had the best hamburger sandwich of my life with the elusive sopwith at st. andrew's (apostrophe? no?) last night. i hadn't seen that dude since 2002, i think the math was. he looks exactly the same at almost-40 as he did at almost-30. what a neat trick. i wore my captain's cap and he wore a felt fedora, but we somehow didn't look like gigantic tools.

my burger had a fried egg on it but not in a red robin way. runnier. i can't explain it. i almost bought another one right as soon as i finished it.

it's weird how you can not see a friend for seven years and start up again right where you bookmarked the story. i was expecting some moderate awkwardness, but i didn't find it. i think it has something to do with the 22-year-old girl i was when we last left off.



karaoke at hula hula was modest but solid. tyson and his girl showed up, wonderously!, and the illustrious kate jaeger just happened to be attending an after-party there. my brain was flooded with joy endorphins. i forgot how little vodka those fucking chi-chis have. although they weren't even on the menu anymore, but i returned from the ladies' room and sopwith had magically conjured one up like a sorcerer, so i felt lucky to have one at all.

by the way, you know you're at a classy joint when you're entering the ladies' room and a girl opens the door with her drink in hand and bodychecks you on the way out and also doesn't acknowledge that it happened. then you go inside and it reeks like a litter box. like girls must have been pissing on the walls. somehow. with some kind of invention. i don't know how else you achieve that result.

i was too faced to execute upon "young americans" properly--your title is still safe, sleepykisser. shoulda practiced in the mirror like a japanese boy. while i massacred it, a guy who reminded me of r. crumb was taking photos that i pray will end up on the internet.

around 12:30, sopwith drove us out to greenlake and we walked around on a dock like we were in a life insurance commercial. the lights of the little brick houses across the lake were glittering at us, and it was very, very cold.



i fly out at 10:45 tonight and arrive at JFK at 7am tomorrow. i have 12 dollars in my checking account and about three grand on the way. i don't know about this lifestyle anymore, guys.

i don't know about a few things anymore after this trip. actually.